MIRACLES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

Quick Note: Next month I will send a more typical Newsletter with updates and offerings. If you would like to receive it, subscribe above. This piece is meant to provide alchemical healing through some truth triggers. It is meant to validate what you already know in your bones. I hope that it is truly helpful to receive. 🙏❤️
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My Early Holiday Gift for Those Who Refuse to Give Up! ​

Miracles are Not for the Faint of Heart 
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Your heart is where your home is. Your home is inside of you. The only navigation worth a damn comes from here. You detect your True North by being embodied, centered, grounded and prayerful. Being Heart and Soul Led is not understood by our ‘living from the head up’ culture, let alone has it  been valued by modern society. 

You are taught to be logical, to be smart about your life and your future. It is smart to prioritize safety and security, especially in these uncertain times. But these purely mental filters, and the skillsets that come through them, actually leave you more vulnerable and unsafe. The most dangerous thing to do is continue making plans or moving forward without the connection to your deep and profound internal guidance system. ​

​It is unsafe to be disconnected to how you truly feel 


It is unsafe to be disconnected to how your body feels 


The longer you stay disconnected, the more dangerous it becomes ​

Quite plainly, this disconnection from your authentic experience is the trauma of disassociation. Any ‘living’ you do from here, the choices you make, etc, perpetuates the drama and trauma cycles you so desperately want to heal. 

Only by being connected to the wisdom of your body, and the Felt Sense of your Essential Self, can you navigate towards true freedom, security, love, wellbeing, vitality and JOY! The healing journey from the head to the heart is entirely different than other forms of learning. 

The education of the intellect, talk therapy, any form of a pure external focus, self-knowledge, collecting and accumulating information, can actually be the biggest obstacle to union with your Heart and Soul. But how can this be? The mental focus of self-knowledge and self-growth was touted as the promise land for the healing journey. It’s all about self-care, right? 

Ahhhh, the ‘old paradigm healing journey’. There you would find me, for year after year after year. I had talked myself out in talk therapy. Yet I still hung to it like a life-line because I thought that was the only way to heal. I was rigid, terrible to myself if I did not do all the things to ‘grow,’ dammit. I focused on creating balance and making healthy choices. I used spiritual tools to increase my vibration. My whole life was about trying to get ahead, and yet I was miserably stuck. No amount of ‘self-improvement’ could deal with my fundamental problem. My protective ego was in control of what I thought was important. I was using my tools and education to force the success of my protective ego’s agenda. 

I started getting instant and debilitating migraines while doing Joe Dispenza meditations to manifest my dreams. HAHA! The irony cracks me up. And it’s not Joe’s fault. No tool is inherently good or bad, it is why we use it. Are we taking direction from our Heart and Soul? Are we applying our best education and tools to go TRUE NORTH? Or, are we exerting the will of our protective ego; trying to stay safe, trying to fix ourselves or be good enough, coming from fear, lack, not feeling worthy, reinforcing the unconscious wounds through force and the normalcy of suffering? 

Luckily, I got so stuck that I stopped. It was at this point the usually devious social media algorithms turned sacred for me. They led me to Dr. Gabor Mate. He was speaking about a particular kind of client. I am about to take a massive liberty and describe this in my own way based on myself. 
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We work hard. We try to do the right things. We are too smart for our own good. We know a lot 'about' ourselves (without actually knowing ourselves.) In fact, we could fill novels 'about' ourselves. We can run circles around our therapists, friends, doctors, etc. We have convinced ourselves and others that no matter how much we are suffering, there is no possible alternative to where we are now. We present our case, we experience our case, as impenetrable. Right? Yet, we aren’t saying anything besides the script our protective ego reads through us. We are held captive, a puppet to the conditioned, traumatized self. This script is brilliant self-justification, self-rationalization, self-denial, learned helplessness, hopelessness, gaslighting from others, and in my case (though entirely unconscious) lies, lies, lies. ​

Gabor was exploring why this client type so often got sick. I got sick (first with cancer, then with fibromyalgia) because I could not distinguish how I thought I should feel vs. how I actually felt. I couldn’t even identify how I felt! I was, however, consumed with guilt, anxiety, dread, and a constant state of impending doom. I felt bad about myself, shame, I could certainly feel that. But no deeper emotions (pure without story) could come through most of the time. I had suppressed not just my Essential Self, but my most basic and daily needs. I suppressed my right to be upset, to be unhappy, and to take up new space when the old plans, commitments, ‘opportunists,’ or energy vampires were not in my best interest.  

My conditioning was that I was responsible for everyone else, my value existed only in service to them, and that life was hard. The harder my life was, meant the better person I was. The harder I worked,  and the more it was at my expense, the holier I was. Why? I was raised in the multi-generational trauma of Martyr culture, good bless the Irish Catholics and complicated Italian Catholics. 😳 It is a good life for a man to sacrifice his soul for a job or war that destroys him. The woman sacrifices her life for her children, husband and every other family member in need. The men are valued more as autonomous beings, where the women are unconsciously seen as helpers (an extension of her family). She is not seen as her own person with her own calling. Her worth rests solely on what she gives. My conditioning was that life wasn’t normal unless it felt draining, life-less, heavy, a never ending struggle, almost impossible. Why? Because it’s either A. That is just how life is, or B. I am a total failure of a human being. For me it was both.  
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This is just a glimpse into my personal hell when I was living through my conditioned self, taking orders from my protective ego, and disconnected to my Essential Self. Themes of deep insurmountable pain, and the tendency to blame that pain on ourselves or on others, is consistent no matter what our individual stories and coping strategies might be. We are in a victim stage when our protective ego is running our life. This perpetuates our suffering. We cannot be in our power unless we are in our SELF, our TRUE SELF. 

The Solution is True North. It is ALL INSIDE OF YOU. It is getting in contact with your Heart and your Soul. YOU, the REAL YOU, is underneath the never ending drama of the protective ego. Until you take the longest journey of all, from your head to your heart, you are a prisoner. No matter how convincing you sound about the life you are living, you are not free or blessed the way you could be, the way you deserve.

I consider the path to becoming Heart and Soul led to be the same journey as that of a Mystic. While most humans are taught to be more, stronger, better! We Mystics keep finding new layers to let go of. Let go of any and every filter that keeps you from yourself. It is work, (but an entirely different kind of work than building and reinforcing mental constructs). It takes effort, commitment, and not taking no for an answer! It is difficult in the beginning because your protective ego will claim a five alarm fire when it has less control. But the alternative is worse, it's to live as a prisoner to your conditioning. It's feeling like a victim, the protective ego's universal and underlying prospective.

This feeling of victimization about your current challenges prevents you from taking your power. When you are feeling victimized you cannot see the lessons as the opportunities they are, and the new pathways being handed to you. *Domestic Abuse is true victimization, and the perpetrator is to blame. I am not referring to this. 

We also need downtime, not just the Highly Sensitive among us, ALL OF US. Mainstream society is toxic. Collectively we are so burnt out; running from the next thing, to the next, with no possibility to be present in the moment. This is unnatural, not how we are wired, and downright inhumane. It is no way to live. We all need to unhook. We need nature and stillness. We cannot be insanely busy and expect to have any kind of real and lasting peace. Rest baby, rest, you need this in order to hear your Heart and Soul. 

IT'S Time to Rise 

I've been telling everyone who’ll listen, your time is now. It is your time to receive. It is your time to fly. We have entered the beginning of a Golden Age. Many of us spiritual seekers have known we were being prepared for this our whole lives. It is a time for the New Paradigm Healers, Leaders and Teachers to rise. More importantly, it is time for our individual Hearts and Souls to be WELL. It is your birthright to be full of Life-Force. It is your birthright to feel connected with Source; one with the love that links every living being on earth. It is your time to know this in every fiber of your being, not just believe or hope that it is true. ​
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What I got so very wrong is this: 

It is not everyone's time to rise

It is only for those of us who choose it

You have to choose to rise. You have to choose to heal, to learn how to feel worthy, to be embodied, and to live from your Heart. Not everyone wants to do the work, though they may be great talkers and pretenders. For those of us who are rising, we have to recognize those who refuse to, and decide how to proceed. 🙏

Miracles are not for the faint of heart. The life you are made for, to thrive in, will only be yours if you choose it. It is NOT promised. You have been given free will, dear human angel. Do you want your miracle? You’ll have to believe in it and yourself, take action, get back up on the horse, (because you’ll be bucked off hard), get the help you need, and don’t look back. It’s faith training. Focus on where you are going. Focus on what is life-giving. Be guided by the cells of your body lighting up, dear love. It's good energy that your body recognizes as your unique path; it resonates. And if you need any help, you know where to find me. 

Are you coming? It’s messy. But all you need is to decide and then show up (do the work) each new day. I have learned that even if I show up and promptly fall on my face, it still counts. If you are terrified but you still show up, you will be just as effective as if you were not scared at all. If you show up but have no idea what to do, hang in there! You're learning a whole new skillset to be led from your Heart and Soul. It gets easier. Again, all you have to do is decide to rise, and show up (do the work). Spirit will take care of the rest. Mountains will be moved for you. For every one step you take toward Spirit, Spirit takes many steps back toward you. If you’re coming, I will see you on the Golden Path. Happy Golden Age!  ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️

HOORAH! 
LOVE AODH


Ps. If you are interested in working with me, Coaching, Somatic Healing, Miracle Making, etc, I offer free 20 minute phone consultations. You can read about all my offerings  and schedule a free call by clicking the button below. 

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